Music: Ride with me-Nelly
Mood: Contemplative
I am off schedule. I did not write yesterday (I try to do every other day) and I am sorry. I really have a lot on my mind as of late and sometimes it is easier to merely stuff myself inside my shell of deep thinking rather than share. I will admit that I do prefer to process things out at least partly if not mostly or even completely before sharing them. While I know this blog is for my own benefit in the absence of a journal I still must show discretion with what I write and what I share about the inner-workings of me.
It is interesting because people I know probably think I am an open book. I talk almost endlessly, and a great deal of it is about me, or what I think about "X" but they are unaware that they have not even scratched the surface of what I am. That sentence was not a reference to deep-thinking, but rather a reference to the layers of myself. Whether consciously or subconsciously I assign each person or group a level of me. I will share everything (as appropriate) up to and including that level. However, that level is the absolute end until said person or group changes somehow in my eyes.
It is not a judgment of others, but rather a judgment of myself. I have had to employ these types of "protective" devices for some time and they help me keep my world ordered, while simultaneously not allowing a majority of people to get too close. Win-win (I guess). I did get into a discussion yesterday though about whether these types of omissions constitute dishonesty.
Honesty is important to me. I would rather know a painful truth than a blissful lie. I like to know everything I can in order to make an informed decision, and I like to extend others the same courtesy (thus, the levels system). I came to the conclusion that using great discretion and guarding my self and my fragile psyche from intrusion is not dishonesty. I don't, and none of us do have a duty to be forthcoming. I don't have to tell anyone anything about me. I believe where there is no duty to disclose, there can be no lie by omission. This could very well translate to my own attempt to justify myself, but if you are on that level, you know that I am my harshest critic so it is unlike me to attempt to find excuses for myself.
What are your thoughts on honesty and disclosure? Leave me a comment--I am tired of doing all the work around here! :) Well, it is time to get back to my hidey-hole; I have more to discuss with myself still.
Quack-a-tocious
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1 comment:
I'd never thought of it quite like this, but I know exactly what you mean (as far as letting certain people know everything up to a specific layer). I like the imagery.
As far as lies. I suppose it depends on the person. To go along with your layer-idea, the closer a person is to me, the more honest I want them to be with me. Joe Shmoe at the bus stop? He doesn't really have to tell me truths because I don't have to deal with him on a daily basis. I don't have to plan my life around him. So he could tell me he's from the planet Mars and is visiting his Aunt Lucinda, and I would smile and say, "Oh how nice." Whatever.
Know what I mean?
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