Sunday, July 1, 2012

Addio trentuno!

Music: Diane-Guster
Mood: Ssssssss

Hello again all.  Today, as many of you know is the last day in my entire life that I will be 31.  I cannot say that I will miss it, and honestly I have much higher hopes for 32.  Even though this past year has been peppered with many instances of my making changes for personal improvement on a whole I still found 31 to be disappointing.  32, you better shine for me.

I am going away on vacation tomorrow.  I am not sure how long I will be gone for, but I am crossing my fingers for 3 weeks.  While I am gone I will not be updating, it's true, however I plan on updating voraciously when I get back.  Since I want this blog to sort-of function as a journal I need to improve my journaling and really try and write everyday if I can.

I really love my birthday (hate the weather though) so it is a good opportunity to do some real nitty gritty soul searching evaluations.  Where am I when I turn 32 in relation to where I was last year?  Two years ago?  Five years ago?  Ten?  It is okay to have pitfalls every once in a while, but if I am stagnant, if I am not progressing as a person than I am doing nothing.  While certain aspects of my life and personality cannot be compared these many years later I can at least gauge it by how I feel about myself.

For instance, ten years ago I was still within the bonds of marriage (and living together).  I loved my ex-husband very much, and I still do, but I was stagnant.  I was doing nothing to improve my own life, or our lives as a married couple.  I was simply floating wherever the currents of anger, frustration, disappointment, etc... took me.  I was not living my life, my life was living me.

Right now again I am sort of trapped where I am (geographically, and somewhat emotionally) but I plug away at "the little things" every day that when piled together will serve to gain me a net win.  A net win, me??!?!?  Mister, I like the way you think!

Quack you when I get back.

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